San Antonio

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Beachscene Beyond our sight in either direction the ugly comfort isolation insured by yellow lights on yellow barracades

Once in innocent intrusion strangers who knew us and loved us badly wandered to the limits of the barracades confused and trembling turned back

Fools, they cried, you cannot escape us for we love you we own you, eat you, use you up you will not hide forever in this silken paradise

We heard only the music and the poetry and the waves, birds sailing above us and made of clouds never the voices of the fools at the barracades

And the fools were right, of course. And even with another he was alone. And eventualy, he was alone with himself and whatever comfort he could find in the neon nights of San 'Tonio.

Golden Girl Laugh golden girl Laugh while you can Laugh 'till you learn that laughter dies

Golden and beautiful the world at your feet not yet wounded; no scars on your past

Girl and woman perhaps not quite sure which to be and...what's the difference?

While we dance listen only to the music and never believe that the music will end

You and I must laugh the laugh and dance the dance Ignore the dawn we cannot hold back

Can you know why I must have your laughter... to hide the sound of my own footsteps

It occured to him that what he sought...the missing part of him...was love. Both the ability to love and the ability to be loved. But where? But how?

Melkorka I once asked if our love could stand the cold light of morning-- and was hurt that it could not

I was younger then...

And now the liquor was warmer and more comforting. Part fun Part escape Part addiction But mostly just the agreed price of freedom...

Woke me up 'bout half-past drunk in the mornin' and just in time to keep from bein' eaten by the dragon.

Come that day an' I know it will; you know it will I won't wake up and the Beast will finally win.

He was seldom alone. Always alone. And it didn't really matter much in the end.

Alien If you called me like you said you would I'm sorry I was not here I never meant to lie

That one night it all broke down no way I could stay here without you

This place is so empty now that bed so cold morning coffee with whiskey instead of you

Most of the time I do pretty well forgetting the cascade of your hair across my pillow

If I drink enough I can even forget (for a while) the warmth of your body giving warmth to mine

Maybe if I go down in enough strange beds with beautiful people I cannot see I can even stop wanting you

Perhaps other thighs will pull me down in place of yours other breasts cradle my head another mouth surrender to mine

Surely a cigarette shared afterwards would still taste the same it's ember glow as bright held to my lips by another hand

I wonder if it would work if I would not feel alien or think her not belonging in a bed where we had loved

I cannot wait forever for the answer to that only until the question is no longer important to me.

Solitaire Solitaire and scotch whiskey and another long night shot to hell waiting for your knock at my door.

Memories or maybe fantasies of the way it was-or maybe wasn't to help me stop listening for the phone.

Later, in dawn's truth the scotch has all been drunk the smoke dissolved with all my midnight dreams.

Dreams have been kind more caring than you, they came and for one more midnight, I had your warmth.

Survivors She turned at the door,

looked back at me.

"We're the survivors"

she said. "We survive".

I would trade beds with my victims

I think they sleep.....

He was changed...forever changed, it seemed, by stone bridges and Italian
lights in the trees and and seeing it all through lonely, haunted eyes.
Those eyes, so often clouded by scotch or tequila.
Seeing only his own pain and emptiness.
Eventually seeing nothing.

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